With Evil Intentions Comes Slightly Evil Respon
by Miss DarkAuthoress Blackrose
Summary: Full Title Inside Parody. Rated T for language. On the outside, the Akatsuki just look like your run-of-the-mill evil villains. But on the inside, they're really just like everyone else and a bag of Doritos… with slight mental problems. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**With Evil Intentions Comes Slightly Evil Responsibilities**

**By: TwinkleUzuki CodeName NekoKit**

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**Twinkle: I just had to do this. I see so many parody fics about the Akatsuki that I had to do this. They're all my favorite! *huggles Akatsuki pushie* Enjoy!**

**Title: **With Evil Intentions Comes Slightly Evil Responsibilities

**Rated:** T (Language, Blood, Crack)

**Genre:** Parody/Humor

**Summary: **On the outside, the Akatsuki just look like your run-of-the-mill evil villains. But on the inside, they're really just like everyone else and a bag of Doritos… with slight mental problems.

**Disclaimer:** Of course I don't own Naruto. If I did, the Akatsuki would have their own side story.

**Chapter 1:** I Swear To KAMI!

Most evil villains wake up to peace and quiet in their evil lair. They rule with an iron fist and nobody opposes them. But not this evil leader.

"ART IS A MOTHERFUCKING EXPLOSION, UN!" **BANG!**

Yep. That's what Pein woke up to on most mornings. Sometimes it was yelling, other times it was some type of loud noise, and like this time, it was both.

Sighing, evilly of course, the orange headed leader climbed out of bed and stood at his full height of 6'2. His pajamas, which had little Akatsuki clouds dancing about them, were ruffled and wrinkled from his sleep. He slipped his evil bunny slippers, which had a black bunny with red eyes and sharp pointy teeth like Kisame's, on and opened his door to go see what the noise was all about. Running an orange fingernail painted hand through his hair, he walked sluggishly down the stairs into the kitchen.

Or what was left of it.

There was black all around the room and nothing was spared, not even the windows. Sighing once more he narrowed his purple eyes at Deidara, Kisame, and Sasori who were out the other door, smacked up against the wall opposite of him. "What happened?" he asked. Deidara growled and unpeeled himself from the wall. He huffed and pointed to Kisame.

"Sushi thought it would be funny to go into Danna and I's art room and mess up all my sculptures. So I blew him up."

"I did not!" Kisame opposed. Pein smacked a hand to his face and slid it down slowly. This was so much better thought out in his head.

"Shut up before I eat you and Veronica for breakfast!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Don't tempt me, fish face!"

Pein turned right back around but turned down the hallway way the held all the Akatsuki member's rooms except for his own. Going down to the third door on the right, which had a light green money sign on it, he knocked on it with the back of his knuckle. "Kakuzu, get your ass up and call a repair man."

"Why? We're already low on money if you hadn't noticed!" A vein started throbbing in Pein's head. He was the Kami damned leader. It did not matter of they were low on money. He asked the bitch to call a damn repair man so the bitch better fucking do it! With one swift movement, Pein kicked open the door. He marched over to the huge vault in the immortal man's room. "What the hell are you doing?"

Pein ignored him and entered the code 'PeinTheTopCock' into the automatic keypad. The thing clicked and he swung open the vault door. He grabbed a fifty dollar bill before slamming the vault door closed and exiting the room, not even bothering to put the door back on its hinges, let alone fix it. Kakuzu watched, his mouth a gap as the Rinnegan user strolled out of his room, fifty in hand. He growled loudly. At that moment, Hidan came stumbling into his room, dripping blood all over his carpet and his cheap one dollar money sign rug, looking around frantically.

"What happened, fuckface?" Hidan asked, rather rudely. The long haired brunette, who surprising didn't have his mask on, glared at the Jashinist, baring his teeth. His brown T-shirt with bags of money on it slowly started to ride up as raised his hands, ready to attack his also immortal partner. The man, unsurprisingly, was nude as the day he was born, being disturbed in the middle of a ritual.

"Why the hell are you bleeding all over my floor, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked through clenched teeth, glaring hard at the white haired man, wising he burst into flames due to the intensity of the glare. If only looks could kill, not even Hidan's religion would save him.

"I was in the middle of a ritual to Jashin-sama obviously." Hidan said nonchalantly. He looked over at Kakuzu and saw the _look_ as he called it. Hidan backed up towards the door as Kakuzu started to get out of bed to try to kill him. He ran out the door at the same time Kakuzu launched at him. They started running through the compound.

"HIDAN!"

When the rest of the members, who were finally all up and clean, heard the yell, Kisame sighed.

"Do they ever stop? They fight like a married couple." he muttered, some others nodding in agreement.

"Tobi doesn't think that Kakuzu should chase Hidan. They could hurt themselves and Tobi doesn't want them to get hurt because Tobi's a good boy right?" Tobi asked. He, however, was ignored by the other six men and one solo woman. Kakuzu chased Hidan into the living room where Hidan looked around, corner.

"Hidan, if you don't stop fucking bleeding on the fucking floor, I swear to KAMI, I will ring your neck." Kakuzu declared, leaking killer intent. Hidan wasn't affected though, having received that end of Kakuzu's anger most of the time.

"Kakuzu, why would you swear to Kami? You already know I don't believe in him, or has all the smells from the money gone to your head?" A vein started throbbing quickly, followed by three more afterwards.

"Hidan." he called quietly. The white haired man looked up at him. "I said," he stated cocking his fist back. Slamming it into Hidan's face, he yelled, "I SWEAR TO KAMI DAMN IT!"

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**Twinkle: Yep. Hope you enjoyed! Review!**


	2. Author's Note: Not Ending, Rewrite

Authors Note

Hello, this is The Boarxx and I have to say that I am sorry...

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FOR WRITING SUCH SHITTY STORIES!

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can make up for the bad quality of my ongoing stories so therefore, everything, excluding the already completed stories, will be re-written. Getting up to speed will not be hard for some stories, but other's plots will be changed and others may be dropped all together.

The only story I am considering to drop is What Pushed Us Away, Brought Us Together. That is the only story and even then, I'm still pending.

Now, high school has started and I will be on a tighter schedule so one to three stories will be updated once every week. So the maximum wait between stories may be a month or six weeks. The current stories will be up for your enjoyment, or cringing agony, until I catch up to the point its current residing, or the same number of chapters.

The inspiration for this change is that about a month ago, I was going through my profile and looking at which story I should update first when I realized how terrible, though that doesn't even cut it, the grammar, plot, and overall writing style was.

I will have another poll on my profile so you may choose which stories I should take off my page when I update them and which stories I should leave for others to read.

_Problems/Changes With My Stories_

-Finally Ninja

In Finally Ninja, which quite personally I think can stand a name change, the first chapter is only 7k words because of the lyrics. That's basically the entire chapter. Also the concept of ninja becoming so from high school is absurd. So Finally Ninja WILL NOT be the continuation of Naru's Lover, but more like and alternate universe kind of second story and both can be read alone.

-I'm So Sick

I started the 300 word prelude and I haven't touched it since. I may drop I'm So Sick or I may start it because I have a fairly good plot in my head but I'm mostly thinking about the sequel rather than the first story. In that story, Naruto, who yes again is a girl, goes by the name of Hitoaimaru and she related to Kyuubi. Other than that, I'm not saying a thing. But again, it's a chance I might not start that one. The prelude will stay up though.

-With Evil Intentions Comes Slightly Evil Responsibilities

This story is kind of an extra and people who have funny ideas for the Akatsuki but no story to put them in, I will gladly take them because I have serious writers block when it comes to that one. It will not be taken down but ideas will be accepted. :)

-Highschool Gang Wars

I don't know what I was thinking when I chose to wrote that story. I have no plot, AT ALL, and nothing to inspire me to update it but if you have ideas, please do tell.

-Naruko: Sono Kouhi Oujou

This is one of my particularly good stories so I probably won't take this one down but I am going to re-write it and post them all at once so when you see new chapters in your email, please do read the story from the beginning. It is my most subscribed story and most reviewed and I love it. 111 reviews is an accomplishment for me. I hope that one day, that story will be the story that has at least 500 reviews when I'm finished with it. Thank you for all your support and good reviews to that story. :)

-The Akatsuki Duo

I am going to keep this story up as well and edit the story from there. The plot sucks and I drifted far away from where I originally hoped to take the story I will start a new and hope not to mess up the plot again so there will be another story up with the exact same name only the summaries will be different and one of them will say re-write in the summary.

-What Forces Us Away Brings Us Together

Ugh. I look at this story and I cringe. This WILL be going under complete reconstruction and WILL be taken down after I finish the rewrite. This story is all twisted backwards and confusing, even to myself, the writer. I can write better than some of the 18-19 year old seniors at my school and I just feel that this is a shame to my writing abilities.

-Tokyuumi: The Beautiful Ninth Child

This is another story I like but I feel I should go more in depth about just why Kitsuki left Konoha and things like that. This one isn't that bad for it's first few chapters but I feel I could do much MUCH better.

-Hiding in Hellschool

I'm going to do some fixing up in the beginning and go more into detail about Naruto's family's powers and her powers as well. Other than that, the plot needs some tweaking here and there.

Right so that's all, the poll is up so go vote please. If you don't have an account and wish to place a vote, or have ideas for me please do PM me. Any questions, PM as well. I am also looking for a job as a beta because I tend to learn from others small mistakes and reading others stories. Please and thank you. :)

~TheBox


	3. I'm Sorry

**Dear Beloved Readers,**

**I am very sorry it has come to this. Unfortunately, I have lost all will to complete my stories. I'm so very sorry. I know I will get a lot of hate reviews and PMs but I can't continue. In my opinion, my plots are going somewhere I can't find. I apologize with all my heart. Now then, I will, however, continue The Queen of Death or Sono Kouhi Oujou, because it's my most famous story. I'm also thinking about starting a new story that is normal Naruto not female Naruto.**

**My stories are up for adoption. I will keep them on my profile as proof that they are my story. Message me if you would like to adopt a story. If I allow you to adopt it, it is REQUIRED that you give me credit, either in the summary or at the beginning of the story.**

**If I'm notified that someone has taken my story without permission or has not given me credit, I will get you removed from FanFiction completely for plagiarism. I want my credit and it's not hard to give. Remember; message me if you want to adopt my story. **

**-TheBox**


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